To stress or not to stress...that is the question...

It has been more than a long time since I have written...and I think that I am going to have to make sure that I pick this back up again...I need it. To say that a lot has happened within the last two years would be an understatement-but I will break it down for you:

1. Still very happily married...and actually Clinton and I will be celebrating our 4 year wedding anniversary this year...he is definitely the one man who understands me-always trying to make me smile and find ways to lighten my burden of being a working mommie. And of course, he always puts up with whatever mood I am in-even my stressed out crying moods which have been happening a lot lately. But he doesn't complain, he just finds little ways to make me smile and I know I don't always do a great job of telling him how much I appreciate him, but I do-very much. He truly is my best friend, someone who I can be honest with and I know that even when I don't want to hear it he will be honest with me. I also love the strength and courage that he has...when I am falling apart, he's always so put together and can just make me feel as though we will make it.

2. Have a very diva like two and a half year old. I guess you can say that I am eating my words when I said that I didn't want to have a sissy little girl...I wanted a strong and independent one-well, boy, did I get one. Kenzie is the love of my life and she is full of character and spunk and just so sure of herself...and as much as I have to catch myself sometimes-I love it!! She cracks me up the way that she already acts so much like a little adult-and a sassy one at that (which I have no idea where that came from). I can't believe that in less than 4 months, she will be 3...and as Clinton likes to say 'one year closer to kindergarten' which of course makes me cry-i can't wait to see the person that she grows into but at the same time I can't believe how fast she is growing...

3. We are adding a new little one to our family...and it's a BOY! I am excited and scared about it all at the same time! Having never really been around boys I am not sure what to expect and am just hoping that I can be a good mommie to both him and Kenzie.  Baby Joe will be joining us in June-of course, there are those who are expecting him in May...so we shall see what happens with this little one. Call it mom's intutition but I think that Kenzie and Joe will good together...she talks to him just about everyday and she was the first and pretty much only person that has felt him move other than myself. I think that he knows he has a big sissy who will look out for him...they may aggravate each other, but overall, they will be close.

4. I am still not liking being an adult-seriously, (and I am not draggin politics into this at all) why is it that when people who are generally good people-at least I try to be...they work hard, pay their dues, etc...they can never seem to get ahead. Don't get me wrong...I am beyond grateful that I have a wonderful job and that Clinton does too, and I would not trade my Kenzie or baby Joe for anything...but the stresses of trying to work and provide for my children and my family are getting to me...could mostly be the pregnancy hormones though :)    I know some would say well just one of you stay home with you children and that would save money-maybe but who would pay all the other bills? Whoever is hoarding that money tree out there-please share it. Do i want to be rich? Not by any means...but I would like to pay off debt and be able to breathe and not live paycheck to paycheck...I know it's asking for a lot...and like i said...beyond grateful that we have a healthy child, happy marriage and are both working because I know there are those out there who are struggling far worse than we are...but I needed a day to vent about this. sorry, little selfish.

There are a million other things that I could write about for now...but I won't...I will just end with this...for those of you (which may be none)who read this...say a special prayer for other members of our family...Clinton's cousins little boy has been diagnoised with Duchennes Muscular Dystrophy...he and his family need our thought and prayers...they will be walking in the Hampton Roads Muscle Walk 2013...their team name is 'Fins to the left!' and if you are out please donate!!! And as always, hug the ones you love that are closest to you...and if you can't hug them then find a way to let them know you love them...life is short, we never know what hand we will be dealt but the best thing is to always let those around you know you care....thanks for letting me vent...it was much needed.