So there has been so much going on in the workplace, and in my life in general I have barely found time to even take pictures of my little one (I'm a horrible mother)!
I find myself eager to get out of town and just do something different...even if the bank account tells me I can't do that. But here I am going to a conference this weekend (well Wednesday through Friday)...I am actually excited about this one b/c I will be able to talk with other counselors who share this passion for helping students like I do. Plus I will be able to talk with my professor from graduate school and get some real professional advice about what to do with frustrating situations that arise at work-mostly with the adults that I work with more than the kids! But I am also a little sad that I won't be able to share this outing with some of my buddies from grad school...apparently I am the only one who can slip away to catch up on all the latest news in the world of school counseling. But either way I am going to enjoy these few days away to soak up all that is school counseling and try not to buy up all the books.
Kenzie on the other hand has been going good and bad. Bad news first....due to all the ear infections and sinus infections, she will be having tubes put in :( I know that its for the best because I don't want her to be delayed in her speech or reading abilities so even though she is rather young, I know that this will be good for her. And most people who have had their children get tubes tell me that I will be happy I did this and that it's far worse on me than it will be on her. The only thing that I am not looking forward to is not being able to give her anything to eat or drink after midnight until after the surgery :( because if she is anything like her mommie-she will not be a happy camper without food!
Good news: she has now master the art of crawling, she can get most anywhere pretty fast and she says dada and she loves to make all sorts of noises with her mouth. She is also cutting her first tooth-although at 2 in the morning, this part belongs in the bad new category for mom and dad. And she is pulling up on everything!!!! She wants to walk so badly, she just doesn't know what to do...and she doesn't want to let go just yet, which is fine by mommie! I can't believe that my baby is 8 months old and in less than 4 months it will have been a year since I gave birth to her. I think that I will be excited and sad on her birthday. Excited b/c I am planning an awesome birthday party, but sad b/c my little girl is growing up too fast. I now get it when everyone else around me kept telling me that I should enjoy every minute b/c it will go by in the blink of an eye...it really does.
I also went through her clothes the other day and I can't believe all that she has outgrown! I put most everything away in containers...just in case roof #2 is a girl...and mostly b/c I couldn't see myself parting with some of her favorite outfits (and by her I mean me)...although I have pulled out a few things for some of my buddies who are all having their babies...it may give me baby fever again...but then I just look at what I pay for daycare and then I am reminded why we need to wait.
I am still very much so enjoying being a mommie...I wouldn't trade any sleepless night, snot/spit-up stained t-shirt, or fussy evening for anything else in the world...she is an amazing baby and I can't wait to see who she will become.
I think that's it for now...I will try not to let time pass so long inbetween posts...thanks for reading.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Things that I don't like dealing with...
Being an adult...
I know that I have talked about this before, but there are some issues going on in my life that have brought this feeling back. The past few days I have been wanting to go back to the age of being a kindergartener... seriously, when things where much more simpler than they are now. Think about it this way, you could still have nap time (well in some places), if you wanted something really badly you could try batting your eyes or giving a sad puppy dog face to try and get your way and in most cases it just might work. If you were trying to please people, it was certainly not as stressful as it now.
Why is it that even when you do your best, it can never be good enough for some people? And it is not always the people that you would expect that are expecting so much of you. I am a natural believer in the whole brith order theories, and if you don't know those you should look them up, I find them very interesting. So maybe it's the whole idea of being the oldest and feeling the need to prove myself and that I am a capable human being that can, along with my husband take care of my little family that has me so stressed out that I am sick. Seriously my doctor said that she thinks that I'm so stressed out that it's wearing my body down... i agreed but also brought up the valid point that I am working in a school (and we all know how many germs children have) and have a six and a half month old who limits my abilites to get a full nights sleep... but she's so cute that I don't mind!
I am trying my best to just forget the small things and focus on my little family (clinton, kenzie and myself) and not worry about anything else. But it's just so hard because I want to be able to talk with someone without having to defend things...I want to be able to be happy with everything that is going on around me...but sometimes people make it sooooo hard!!!! That's life I guess...and I guess that it's all part of being an adult. :( Maybe one day things will get better.
I know that I have talked about this before, but there are some issues going on in my life that have brought this feeling back. The past few days I have been wanting to go back to the age of being a kindergartener... seriously, when things where much more simpler than they are now. Think about it this way, you could still have nap time (well in some places), if you wanted something really badly you could try batting your eyes or giving a sad puppy dog face to try and get your way and in most cases it just might work. If you were trying to please people, it was certainly not as stressful as it now.
Why is it that even when you do your best, it can never be good enough for some people? And it is not always the people that you would expect that are expecting so much of you. I am a natural believer in the whole brith order theories, and if you don't know those you should look them up, I find them very interesting. So maybe it's the whole idea of being the oldest and feeling the need to prove myself and that I am a capable human being that can, along with my husband take care of my little family that has me so stressed out that I am sick. Seriously my doctor said that she thinks that I'm so stressed out that it's wearing my body down... i agreed but also brought up the valid point that I am working in a school (and we all know how many germs children have) and have a six and a half month old who limits my abilites to get a full nights sleep... but she's so cute that I don't mind!
I am trying my best to just forget the small things and focus on my little family (clinton, kenzie and myself) and not worry about anything else. But it's just so hard because I want to be able to talk with someone without having to defend things...I want to be able to be happy with everything that is going on around me...but sometimes people make it sooooo hard!!!! That's life I guess...and I guess that it's all part of being an adult. :( Maybe one day things will get better.
Friday, January 14, 2011
life is what you make of it...
Once again I find my mind wondering because it is Friday and it SHOULD be a good day and I SHOULD be excited about the three day weekend-but I'm not...there were somethings that happened that really hurt my feelings and I have no one that I can talk to at this moment so I turn to my blog....so get ready for a long vent blog!
Growing up you are taught that one should be a good sport, a team player, supportive whether things go your way or not, include others, etc....but where do we lose these good qualities along the way? I agree that you should work hard and try to make yourself known in your job in this tough economic time, but I also believe that you should NOT step on, belittle or make anyone else that you work with feel bad in the process. Now of course, you can't spend your life walking on egg shells, but be tactful and watch who you take your frustrations out on...think about it-how many times have you blown up at the wrong person. This is what happened to me today. I was the victim of doing my job-but at the same time getting shunned and made to feel like I am in capable of being a counselor. I seriously felt as though I was having a flash back of being in middle school again (amusing I know because of where I am currently working) stuck between two friends and feeling like nothing I can say will make anything better.
I agree that I am new to this field of work but I was trained under some really great and well-known in Virginia's counseling field professionals...so I am not dumb...and I am not here to take your job-I just want to feel included. I feel so selfish asking this, but when you work with students, I believe that there has to be team approach...everyone, whether you love that person or can't stand to be anywhere near them, you need to work together! I just want to be trusted, and there are those who believe that trust should be earned, and while that may be true, it's hard to earn trust if you are sitting on the sidelines.
As my title says...I am just going to try and make the best of what is left of this workday...look at the pictures of my daughter and be thankful that I do have a job. But I wish that each of you who read this blog would remember this...(and this is something that I got from someone else so I can't take credit for it-but I love this phrase so I am going to share it)
*Be kinder than necessary because everyone is fighting some kind of battle*
So while we may ourselves be having a hard/bad day remember that someone else always has it worse, and remember not to take your frustrations/anger out on the wrong person. Life is what you make of it and I am choosing to make it a great day...
Growing up you are taught that one should be a good sport, a team player, supportive whether things go your way or not, include others, etc....but where do we lose these good qualities along the way? I agree that you should work hard and try to make yourself known in your job in this tough economic time, but I also believe that you should NOT step on, belittle or make anyone else that you work with feel bad in the process. Now of course, you can't spend your life walking on egg shells, but be tactful and watch who you take your frustrations out on...think about it-how many times have you blown up at the wrong person. This is what happened to me today. I was the victim of doing my job-but at the same time getting shunned and made to feel like I am in capable of being a counselor. I seriously felt as though I was having a flash back of being in middle school again (amusing I know because of where I am currently working) stuck between two friends and feeling like nothing I can say will make anything better.
I agree that I am new to this field of work but I was trained under some really great and well-known in Virginia's counseling field professionals...so I am not dumb...and I am not here to take your job-I just want to feel included. I feel so selfish asking this, but when you work with students, I believe that there has to be team approach...everyone, whether you love that person or can't stand to be anywhere near them, you need to work together! I just want to be trusted, and there are those who believe that trust should be earned, and while that may be true, it's hard to earn trust if you are sitting on the sidelines.
As my title says...I am just going to try and make the best of what is left of this workday...look at the pictures of my daughter and be thankful that I do have a job. But I wish that each of you who read this blog would remember this...(and this is something that I got from someone else so I can't take credit for it-but I love this phrase so I am going to share it)
*Be kinder than necessary because everyone is fighting some kind of battle*
So while we may ourselves be having a hard/bad day remember that someone else always has it worse, and remember not to take your frustrations/anger out on the wrong person. Life is what you make of it and I am choosing to make it a great day...
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Just happy...
As I sit at my desk this morning, horrible I know to be writing at work, but it's a bit slow and I just have something on my mind that I want to share....
I am truly thankful that God has blessed me with a very happy ( most of the time) and HEALTHY baby. Sure, she gets the snifflies (like that new word?) every now and again, and no I don't think it's because of our house, I am pretty sure it's because I work with middle schoolers who are full of germs and she's in daycare-but I am rambling, sorry...but I have not have to stay over night in the hospital with her-other than when she was born. I can bathe her in her pink tub and watch her play with all her bath toys...and not have to bathe her in a little tub infront of nurses. I can dress her and kiss her little feet...and blow rasberries on her tummy and make her laugh...I can read to her and rock her to sleep without tubes and IVs getting in the way. But most of all I can kiss her anytime I want...and I can say her name and have her look at me and smile and know that I do have a wonderful baby who just completes my life.
Sorry, don't mean to make it sound like I am bragging...but all these other babies that I am praying for, and these parents who are struggling/fighting to keep their babies alive made me feel as though I needed to take a moment to just be grateful that Mackenzie is the way that she is...funny, sweet, adorable, even a bit moody at times...but she's my baby and I love her.
Ok, I am done...everyone have a lovely day...I love you Mackenzie!!!!
I am truly thankful that God has blessed me with a very happy ( most of the time) and HEALTHY baby. Sure, she gets the snifflies (like that new word?) every now and again, and no I don't think it's because of our house, I am pretty sure it's because I work with middle schoolers who are full of germs and she's in daycare-but I am rambling, sorry...but I have not have to stay over night in the hospital with her-other than when she was born. I can bathe her in her pink tub and watch her play with all her bath toys...and not have to bathe her in a little tub infront of nurses. I can dress her and kiss her little feet...and blow rasberries on her tummy and make her laugh...I can read to her and rock her to sleep without tubes and IVs getting in the way. But most of all I can kiss her anytime I want...and I can say her name and have her look at me and smile and know that I do have a wonderful baby who just completes my life.
Sorry, don't mean to make it sound like I am bragging...but all these other babies that I am praying for, and these parents who are struggling/fighting to keep their babies alive made me feel as though I needed to take a moment to just be grateful that Mackenzie is the way that she is...funny, sweet, adorable, even a bit moody at times...but she's my baby and I love her.
Ok, I am done...everyone have a lovely day...I love you Mackenzie!!!!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Drama...
It is amusing to me...I always thought that when I grew up the drama would decrease...WRONG!!!
I find that family drama is almost more of a headache than work or school drama...seriously...why is that no matter what is going on in your life, how hard you work, how much you show tht you love and care of people it is just NEVER EVER good enough for them?
I thought that families were where you were you suppose to go to when you needed support...whom you could lean on in times that were difficult...don't get me wrong...I know that my family loves me but there are just a few people who make me feel as though I'm a bad mom...
Ok I am better...I think...but at least that is off my chest.
GOING RED AND PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE FOR BABY SCARLETT.... WE LOVE YOU!!!
I find that family drama is almost more of a headache than work or school drama...seriously...why is that no matter what is going on in your life, how hard you work, how much you show tht you love and care of people it is just NEVER EVER good enough for them?
I thought that families were where you were you suppose to go to when you needed support...whom you could lean on in times that were difficult...don't get me wrong...I know that my family loves me but there are just a few people who make me feel as though I'm a bad mom...
- I love my family...I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful daughter
- I work...because I love my daughter and diapers and formula do not grow on trees...
- I pay my bills...not because I want to but because they tell me this is what it means to become an adult...
- HOWEVER...I do not have the nicest or newest car and netiher does my husband....and it's not for a lack of trying...it's because of a lack of funds...again money doesn't grow on trees
- We don't have the best looking house on the block and yes, it needs some work...but guess what that requires? I will give yoiu a hint, it starts with an 'M' and ends with 'ONEY' oh and don't forget that it also requires time...which again, we don't have a lot of
Ok I am better...I think...but at least that is off my chest.
GOING RED AND PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE FOR BABY SCARLETT.... WE LOVE YOU!!!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Being thankful.....
I know that it's not November but sometimes I think that it's a good idea to take other times of the year to give thanks for the good things in our lives. I sometimes have the tendency to be a little more negative than I would like, so that is why in this little lull I have going on in my work I am want to think of most of the things that I am thankful for...I would say all but I don't think that I have the brain capacity for that at this point in time. *Sorry...being sick lately and being a new mommie...there is not too much room for anything else in my mind right now.
1. I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband...sometimes he disagrees with me on this one, but yesterday he reafirmed this for me. I had started not feeling well on Wednesday, but I was trying to fight it (silly me..) he was trying to make me go to bed early and fix me dinner and take more of the lead of caring for Kenzie but me being the stubborn and loving :) wife that I am didn't let him do all of these things (I guess I just felt like I would be a bad mommie if I wasn't the one taking care of everything around the house). SO I woke up at 4:30 Thursday morning feeling like death (strong term, sorry)...could barely talk, my ears and throat hurt and my head was pounding...there was no way I was going to be able to get up and be able to deal with middle schoolers...so I emailed out of work and told Clint that I couldn't do anything that day. He being as awesome as he is, got up, got everything together (with me sleepily talking to him from the bed), switched out the car seat, and got Kenzie ready for daycare and instead of making me get up to take her and nearly making himself late for work (only becuase this is the first time that he has been able to take her without me) took her to daycare so mommie could get a full day of rest and try and get to the doctor. Then he was awesome enough to check on me throughout the day and even when he got home and I was feeling better he still was doing most of the work. I love him...
2. My beautiful...so like me at times daughter. Kenzie is such an amazing addition to mine and my husband's life. She makes us laugh, she brings us closer together but most of all she amazes us each day. I love waking up and seeing her little face and knowing that she is a part of clinton and myself. But she really is like me which makes me smile....of course not in that moment but within a few minutes after...she can be sooooo impatient sometimes (and I know that her grandparents would beg to differ on this) and she get sooooo fussy if you don't get that bottle ready fast enough or if you aren't paying attention to her but it cracks me up because as soon as I look at her (or Clinton does) she starts laughing. Such a manipulator already shesh! Boy are Clinton and I going to have our hands full!
3. My wonderful parents and in-laws....I love them all sooooooo very much. My parents have always been soooooooo supportive (even if they didn't always fully agree with my decisions) and so loving.... and I truly can tell them anything without feeling scared and know that they will love me and understand where I am coming from. They will laugh with me (or at me sometimes), they will cry with me, and even though they don't always have it themselves, they are always willing to go above and beyond what they need to, to make sure that I am taken care of. My in-laws, whom I can call mom and dad too are great as well. They treat me like a daughter....I feel as though I can call on them day and night. And they are always willing to babysit (wonder why that is?) I love being with them on the weekends and it's soooo funny because there are times when Clinton will say-my parents love you more than they love me! But I am so thankful to have them here and to know that Kenzie is able to spend time with both sets of grandparents, and I pray that they continue to live long lives so that she will grow up with all of them.
Of course I can continue to go on and on....and tomorrow I will put up at least three more people/things...( and yes, Maria you will be on here, but I feel as though you deserve your own number so be patient)...that I am thankful for...so that whenever I am feeling down I can reflect on this and know that I am loved and I have people that need me!
Happy Friday to everyone...and continue to say prayers for baby Scarlett...she is doing well but her and her family still need our prayers and thoughts!!!!! *Praying for a miracle and going red for baby Scarlett!!!!
1. I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband...sometimes he disagrees with me on this one, but yesterday he reafirmed this for me. I had started not feeling well on Wednesday, but I was trying to fight it (silly me..) he was trying to make me go to bed early and fix me dinner and take more of the lead of caring for Kenzie but me being the stubborn and loving :) wife that I am didn't let him do all of these things (I guess I just felt like I would be a bad mommie if I wasn't the one taking care of everything around the house). SO I woke up at 4:30 Thursday morning feeling like death (strong term, sorry)...could barely talk, my ears and throat hurt and my head was pounding...there was no way I was going to be able to get up and be able to deal with middle schoolers...so I emailed out of work and told Clint that I couldn't do anything that day. He being as awesome as he is, got up, got everything together (with me sleepily talking to him from the bed), switched out the car seat, and got Kenzie ready for daycare and instead of making me get up to take her and nearly making himself late for work (only becuase this is the first time that he has been able to take her without me) took her to daycare so mommie could get a full day of rest and try and get to the doctor. Then he was awesome enough to check on me throughout the day and even when he got home and I was feeling better he still was doing most of the work. I love him...
2. My beautiful...so like me at times daughter. Kenzie is such an amazing addition to mine and my husband's life. She makes us laugh, she brings us closer together but most of all she amazes us each day. I love waking up and seeing her little face and knowing that she is a part of clinton and myself. But she really is like me which makes me smile....of course not in that moment but within a few minutes after...she can be sooooo impatient sometimes (and I know that her grandparents would beg to differ on this) and she get sooooo fussy if you don't get that bottle ready fast enough or if you aren't paying attention to her but it cracks me up because as soon as I look at her (or Clinton does) she starts laughing. Such a manipulator already shesh! Boy are Clinton and I going to have our hands full!
3. My wonderful parents and in-laws....I love them all sooooooo very much. My parents have always been soooooooo supportive (even if they didn't always fully agree with my decisions) and so loving.... and I truly can tell them anything without feeling scared and know that they will love me and understand where I am coming from. They will laugh with me (or at me sometimes), they will cry with me, and even though they don't always have it themselves, they are always willing to go above and beyond what they need to, to make sure that I am taken care of. My in-laws, whom I can call mom and dad too are great as well. They treat me like a daughter....I feel as though I can call on them day and night. And they are always willing to babysit (wonder why that is?) I love being with them on the weekends and it's soooo funny because there are times when Clinton will say-my parents love you more than they love me! But I am so thankful to have them here and to know that Kenzie is able to spend time with both sets of grandparents, and I pray that they continue to live long lives so that she will grow up with all of them.
Of course I can continue to go on and on....and tomorrow I will put up at least three more people/things...( and yes, Maria you will be on here, but I feel as though you deserve your own number so be patient)...that I am thankful for...so that whenever I am feeling down I can reflect on this and know that I am loved and I have people that need me!
Happy Friday to everyone...and continue to say prayers for baby Scarlett...she is doing well but her and her family still need our prayers and thoughts!!!!! *Praying for a miracle and going red for baby Scarlett!!!!
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Year...
Well 2011 is here and there's no turning back! Clinton and I made it through our first Christmas as a family...and we are exhausted! I think that we did pretty good with making the rounds to various family members while still enjoying some one-on-one time with our precious baby girl. Then the week after Christmas the road was our home, seeing various family members, some who had not even met her just yet! It was amusing to see her interact so wonderfully with new people.
New things that Kenzie is now doing:
1. She rolled over for the first time 12/18/10 (she now does this consistently but then gets mad when she's on her tummy)
2. She laughs out loud...sometimes she will just start laughing at anything! It's soooooo contagious!
3. We are currently working on trying to get her to crawl...but all she seems to be doing is face planting into the carpet...oh well!
So instead of doing resolutions Clinton and I went with goals.....I know it's basically the same thing but in my mind it sounds better. We have decided (with the help of looking at our finances with a professional) that our dream of getting a new house is going to be placed on the back burner for longer than we would like :( Silly college education-making us broker by the day! So we are now looking at maybe getting a new(er) vehicle. All of our cars are 10-15 years old, and while for the most part they run rather well, they do have some mileage on them and we just need a little more space with the baby and whatever the future holds with new babies. So we will keep working on the savings and keep working on paying down the credit cards...which we hope by the end of summer we will be almost completely paid off (at least two out of the three). Sometimes I am so glad to be an adult (NOT!) but with a little patience...which I am getting better at, and cutting back on always wanting to grab breakfast on my way to work versus making it at home and not going to starbucks and remembering to pack my lunch and with Clinton doing the same we will hopefully see more money going into savings and the dream of getting a newer car and eventually getting a newer house and paying off our debts will become a reality-not in 2011, maybe not even in 2012, but soon...our last goal is to be somewhere new before Mackenzie starts school...so here's to hoping that 2015 is our dreams come true year!
New things that Kenzie is now doing:
1. She rolled over for the first time 12/18/10 (she now does this consistently but then gets mad when she's on her tummy)
2. She laughs out loud...sometimes she will just start laughing at anything! It's soooooo contagious!
3. We are currently working on trying to get her to crawl...but all she seems to be doing is face planting into the carpet...oh well!
So instead of doing resolutions Clinton and I went with goals.....I know it's basically the same thing but in my mind it sounds better. We have decided (with the help of looking at our finances with a professional) that our dream of getting a new house is going to be placed on the back burner for longer than we would like :( Silly college education-making us broker by the day! So we are now looking at maybe getting a new(er) vehicle. All of our cars are 10-15 years old, and while for the most part they run rather well, they do have some mileage on them and we just need a little more space with the baby and whatever the future holds with new babies. So we will keep working on the savings and keep working on paying down the credit cards...which we hope by the end of summer we will be almost completely paid off (at least two out of the three). Sometimes I am so glad to be an adult (NOT!) but with a little patience...which I am getting better at, and cutting back on always wanting to grab breakfast on my way to work versus making it at home and not going to starbucks and remembering to pack my lunch and with Clinton doing the same we will hopefully see more money going into savings and the dream of getting a newer car and eventually getting a newer house and paying off our debts will become a reality-not in 2011, maybe not even in 2012, but soon...our last goal is to be somewhere new before Mackenzie starts school...so here's to hoping that 2015 is our dreams come true year!
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